Penelope

It's hard to believe two years have passed. Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by children that are two years old and I often look at them and wonder what milestones she would be doing now. What words she would be saying and what her personality would be like. I think loosing her has made me a little more vocal about those who are blessed with children but seem so caught up in their selfish ways. It makes me want to just shake them. But I restrain myself.

We were able to get her headstone in place this year. And that was also fraught with heartache. We took a long time deciding what we wanted and finding someone who could do the image that Scott liked. They called that it was set. I thought I would finally have some closure and we would have done all that we could for her.

The monument company was supposed to call us in advance and let us know when they were setting it. They did call - but it wasn't enough notice for Scott to be able to go and oversee it.

Scott went to the cemetary first. He came back with pictures and said, "I think it's in the wrong place."

He made some calls. The cemetery told him that is where she was - the headstone was over her grave.

We were left with two options: Leave things like they were or we could have her and the headstone moved.

Instead of closure - I felt like I had been sucker punched! I dreaded the thought of moving her because what else could go wrong?? Going to the cemetery is hard enough with out the added frustration of knowing she is not in the right place if we left it as it was.

What a difficult week that was. Notice I've given myself lots of time before I could even write about it.


When I went to see it - I had to agree - something was wrong. Her headstone was in the place where Scott's plot is. The layout was to be Scott, Me to his right and Penelope to my right. But the headstone was right in front of a tree.

I called the cemetery again and explained that I *really* didn't think that was Penelope's plot. If it had been, I would have remembered it was right in front of the tree. I knew it would take some time to get her headstone and I knew I wanted to bring flowers before then. I was convinced it was in the wrong spot. I asked if there was some way they could double check that the headstone was marking the place she lay.

A while later the cemetery called and said we were correct. The headstone was in the wrong place and Penelope was to the right of the tree. Apparently there was a snafu with the paperwork. The cemetery moved the headstone to the right location.

All of that heartache could have been avoided if someone would have double checked. I felt like loosing a child is difficult enough with out the added stress of her being in the wrong place or the thoughts of moving her and something else happening.

I decided I could finally share that story today - what would have been her 2nd birthday.